I used to hesitate and question what I had to say. Remaining in self-doubt required so much energy, and I wondered if my thoughts were valid or valuable. My self-consciousness furthered this spiral; because I felt insecure about what I would say, I prevented myself from interacting with and connecting with others. I felt alone in these thoughts. But through personal work and through practice, I learned that none of this was true. Soon enough, it no longer mattered what others thought. It was through this openness and walking through this discomfort that I gained meaningful relationships with others and felt more comfortable in my own skin. I began to love myself and feel more confident.
Because of my own path, confidence is one of those topics close to my heart. I am excited about sharing these exercises with you!
We often focus on negative memories.
These memories are often based in fiction, or prevent us from investigating other pieces of evidence that contrast our strengths and our abilities. When we focus on negative past experiences, we often leave out factual information reflecting our true qualities. I challenge you to identify five qualities associated with five different memories. The purpose of this exercise is to pinpoint your strengths despite the outcome. Even if it were a so-called “negative” or neutral experience, I am almost certain that you emulate positive attributes.
Let’s reflect upon an experience.
Perhaps you received feedback at work. What are some of the qualities that you exemplify at work? I can guarantee that you are hard-working, determined, attentive, and kind. I am assuming, but I am sure that there are many examples in which you demonstrate these qualities. When are you attentive to others’ feelings? When have you arrived early or stayed late at work? Or maybe you give it your best effort at your meetings.
Be a role model.
When we show others how to do something based on our skills, we’re reminded of our redeeming qualities. In those moments, we will focus on someone else, while reinforcing our own competencies. Perhaps you will gain excitement by mentoring someone and find yourself rooting for that person. Or maybe you will see yourself and your own strengths through this person.
It’s All In The Little Things.
Do something small for yourself. Buy yourself flowers as an act of appreciation for showing up today. Write yourself a note and place it somewhere you will come across it later. Wear your favorite outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks. Cut out an image or phrase from a magazine that reminds you of your amazing self. Send yourself a card so that you receive it at work.